Running To Stand Still
It has been a minute since I've written in this blog so I thought I would catch you up on what has been going on in my life. The answer is somewhat bleak and can be summed up in two little words: not much. Because of my situation at work, I have been at a standstill for what seems like years although in reality has been only a few months. Combined with not resolving my car situation, I feel like I've been stranded on a deserted island with no hope of rescue on the horizon. I've felt isolated, alienated, and abandoned with brief spots of respite through time spent with family and friends.
However, I wouldn't say I've been depressed the whole time. Having a goal in mind has helped, and I've spent a lot of time focusing on my future. One good thing that I found out is that my official retirement date is two months earlier than I thought. I have let my district know that I can retire on March 14th instead of the middle of May. I double checked with the retirement system so at least that is one thing that is settled for my future. The date of my retirement is indeed the weekend before St. Patrick's Day which just can't be a coincidence and does bring a smile to my face. Maybe for old times sake I'll actually go out on this St. Patrick's Day and spend the evening in an Irish pub like I used to do annually. Lyft has opened a brand new world of possibilities for me! I may even venture up to Saratoga in my search for an authentic Irish pub and celebrate in style.
I wish all matters of my future could be as easily planned as that. So far, I have applied for two different universities in Ireland. University College of Dublin and University College Cork. Both of those programs are on Irish literature and culture. However, I'm beginning to realize that raising the $20k needed just for full time tuition is almost impossible for me. I could go to school part time and work in Ireland which will work only if there is enough room in the part time programs. I've also applied for one job so far in London although I'm losing hope of attaining a Visa for the UK. There are too many people looking for work visas from the United States especially since the election (another reason for me to be against Trump). To be honest, this hopeless feeling I've been having lately centers on the dwindling prospects of me living abroad especially when it comes to London.
This defeated feeling had me researching another country and continent where teachers are needed: Australia. When I first heard about the teacher shortage in Australia through a recruiter, I dismissed it entirely. I'm not a hot weather person and little crawly critters scare the bejesus out of me. But a few things I've learned have made me reconsider it. There are areas in South Australia which are definitely hot in the summer but a dry heat. The humidity found in other areas of Australia would make living there impossible for me. Adelaide in South Australia has a much lower standard of living than Albany and has a great transport system. After watching a few Youtube videos and a few websites on moving to Australia, I am considering it. But my enthusiasm is no where near my burning desire to live in the UK or Ireland. I do believe our souls have many reincarnations and am convinced that my soul lived there before which may be the reason I feel drawn there. However, I have a much better chance of getting a Visa to work in Australia than the UK.
Another path I'm considering is putting off my move another school year. I'm not crazy about this possibility but it would give me more time to save money and perhaps make more contacts in the academic worlds of Ireland and the UK. I may have a chance to work locally at a small Catholic school for the year which would help me sock away more money while still getting my pension. My first two years of teaching were spent at a similar small Catholic school, and I loved being part of the community. If it wasn't for the fact that I could make $30k more in a public school, I probably would still be there. Smaller class sizes and supportive families make the school attractive to me. So, this could be the key to being able to return to the UK or Ireland.
My mind is racing with possibilities, contradictions, dreams, nightmares, hopes and doubts. It reminds me of the beginning of one of U2's greatest songs from The Joshua Tree. I'm having trouble just living in the present like the girl who Bono sings about in "Running to Stand Still".
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